
Emotions, Manipulations, Fear, Shame – Fr. Athanasie Ulea, Fr. Theologos
5 February 2023
Saint Haralambos: The Youthfulness of Old Age – Fr. Pimen Vlad
9 February 2023One of the greatest problems in all of human history — but especially today — is that of the passions of the flesh. Why is this so? What are their effects? Why does so much affliction weigh upon humanity today? Why are women not permitted on the Holy Mountain?
You will find the answers to all these questions — and more — in this material.
Enjoy!
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen. Through the prayers of our Holy Fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us! Amen.
Brethren, I am going to tell you something I’ve said before, but it’s very important, and especially today’s theme is important and is based on this – on the creation of man. In the book of the Book of Genesis, it says, ““Let Us make man (singular) in Our image, according to Our likeness (plural)” and then a little further down it says, “So God created man (singular) in His own image (again, singular); in the image of God He created him (again, singular); male and female He created them (plural).” Do you understand?
I have spoken many times on this subject; I will briefly repeat it for our new viewers and for the rest of us to better remember it. At first, we might think it is a disagreement between the singular and plural, but it’s not. You see, God is one God in three Persons: The Holy Trinity. Likewise, God created one man – the global Adam – in more persons, of two genders: male and female. Today we should have been one gigantic mind – one single mind, brethren – knowing each other’s thoughts, sharing our experiences, and working together without wavering towards union with God, that is, to reach eternal personal perfection.
However, because of sin, we are fleshly, we are broken among ourselves, we are shattered, we no longer know each other’s thoughts, we no longer understand each other, and we no longer feel each other’s experiences. You see that the desire for unity among people is right at the core of their existence. You see that God did not take another piece of matter – “Adama” in Hebrew means “matter” – to make Eve, but from Adam’s rib, so that the unity would not be broken, the unity that Adam recognized by saying, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” In Romanian it doesn’t sound quite right, but in Hebrew, in the original text, it’s very clear because the man is “ish” and the woman is “isha” – taken from him. “Isha” from “ish.” Furthermore, Adam prophesies saying that for this reason (that is, because of unity) a man will leave his father and mother – which father and which mother since they did not exist? As I said, Adam prophesies – man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Likewise, about Eve, God says that she will desire her husband (Genesis 3, 16). I could say much more on this topic, but I believe it’s obvious that the desire for unity among people is existential; it is in their nature, in our nature. In fact, brethren, this is also evident in everyday life, isn’t it? In fact, the very joy of Heaven is exactly this: the union between us, the intertwining of persons, the beauty of the other person seen from within myself, and, above all, the beauty of the perfect persons, the divine persons, of God. In theological terms, this is called “perichoresis.” So, the question is not whether people want to unite with each other and with God – people will always have this tendency.
In fact, our strongest desire is the desire for unity, for the restoration of the global Adam in communion with God. The problem is HOW this is done and WHO people have in place of God. As I was saying, due to sin we are carnal and we try to achieve this union by putting the flesh first in a sinful sense. Everything is distorted, brethren. When we say that someone offers their body, the sinner does not think of sacrificial obedience, of the help by which someone serves another, but of sins – and that is because in the mind of the sinner everything is carnal, everything’s sinful, everything’s selfish.
Yes, selfish, brethren, because fleshly love, sensual love, based on the senses, hence the term “sensual,” in English, fleshly love is the love of ourselves, the love for the excitement produced by the senses, the love in which we no longer see the other as a person, as a personality, but as a pile of cells, as an instrument, as a tool with which we satisfy our selfish needs, a tool that we throw in the toolbox after having satisfied our desires, our cravings.
Brethren, this is entirely destructive and traumatic because it destroys love, and love is the energy of our existence; it is the existential fuel and our power that comes from God. God is love, as St. John the Theologian says and, again, as God Himself says about Himself, “I am Who I am.” That is, God defines Himself as Self-existence, the existence above all existence, and this manifests within us as love. So, if we do not love, we have no connection with the One Who is; we do not exist – as far as it is possible for an eternal soul. Do you understand?
Be very careful, brethren! When I say that we must love, I mean, of course, brethren, that we must love others and above all, love God, not ourselves, and hence love others only as tools, as instruments for satisfying our pleasures, as I was saying. This focus on personal interests – selfishness, that is – isolates us, hardens us, makes us believe our own thoughts and in a paradoxical and almost contradictory way, makes us think we are gods, misunderstood geniuses, while on the other hand, it makes us very insecure and distrustful of everyone else.
On one hand, we think we are gods, and on the other hand, it makes us feel very insecure and not trusting of anyone, thinking, “What’s going on?” Understand? In our loneliness, we believe that if we think we are somebody, it must be so, and everyone else should accept it. For example, what would you say if I believed I was the President of the United States – wouldn’t you say I’m schizophrenic? Well, yes, although, of course, there is, theoretically, the possibility that someone could elect me, isn’t it? Well, then how can we say it’s natural for someone who is a man to claim they are a woman or vice versa and to change their gender? Don’t you see that there is a big problem somewhere… in the head, brethren? In fact, you should know that these people have serious issues, and when I say serious issues, I’m not only referring to their traumas from the distant or recent past, but also to the fact that they are taught wrong by society, at school, and they need a lot of help. However, brethren, supporting them does not mean validating their thoughts or tendencies because that would destroy them.
If a person is heading towards the abyss of cognitive distortions, especially regarding matters of the flesh and especially the sin of the flesh, we should not tell them “You are doing well,” or that “It is right,” because we are destroying them. Brethren, as I was saying, if someone considers themselves to be someone else, it does not mean that they actually are – let’s be clear. Today, however, the big problem of society is that sin is mistaken for virtue, and people no longer know what to believe and can no longer repent. If you promote sin as a virtue, you can no longer repent, you can no longer become better because there are great cognitive distortions, as I mentioned, stemming from education.
This leads to schizophrenia – “schizo” in Greek, σχίζω – means “to break” and “φρένα” – we have the word in Romanian as well – meaning “brake.” So, the schizophrenic is the one with broken brakes; One who believes something strongly even if the factual evidence says otherwise and does not put on the brake. Let me give you a case. Archbishop Makarios of Cyprus was a very popular figure in Cyprus, primarily from a political standpoint, around the mid-20th century. It was a very complicated situation back then, with the independence of Cyprus, English, Turks, Greeks – very complicated. What is certain is that His Eminence was the central figure in all this geopolitical turmoil at that time. That is not what I want to say now, brethren, if you wish, look into it. What is certain is that he was very popular, and wherever he went, the Cypriots welcomed him with great interest, ovations, discussions. In such a visit, His Eminence arrives at a mental hospital, at an asylum, dressed, of course, in a cassock, klobuk, and engolpion as an archbishop. When he enters, a madman approaches him hesitantly, also dressed in a strange manner, like some sort of monk, without appearing to be a monk. They looked at each other for a few seconds, and the madman asks His Eminence in a secretive way “Who are you?” and the His Eminence answers, “I am Archbishop Makarios of Cyprus.” At that moment, the schizophrenic jumps protectively on him and tells him horrified, “Sssst! Don’t say that! I said that too, and they put me in here!” Do you understand?
Reality is not as we wish, as we think it is, but as God validates it. And this is especially true in the case of existential matters, biological facts, biological realities. If we insist, trauma occurs. I say it with much love. This is all the more true in the case of the body, as I said, because the body is, let’s say, our weak point, the way through which we see our weakness. In fact, it is because of this that God has allowed us to have “garments of skin” as the scripture says, meaning this body – so that we are aware of our humility. You see, through the body we have the awareness of our decadence and death, of pain, of rottenness, of weakness, of the need for food, sleep, toilet, all of these things. All of these are very humbling and salvific, in fact, if we know how to use them properly, because salvation means the presence of a soft, merciful heart.
If, however, the body is used selfishly, for the satisfaction of one’s own pleasures, for the excitation of the senses – for intoxication, actually, because fornication is a serious drug, fleshly pleasure is the result of a chemical reaction in the brain – then that is the road to more or less total dependence, the way towards the loss of freedom, the road to hell. This is hell, as the Holy Fathers say – desires exacerbated to the maximum that can never be fulfilled. Do you understand? The soul’s yearning for love and perfection cannot be fulfilled through carnal passions, neither here on earth, and especially not after death when the body disappears. How will someone sexually obsessed have peace – because that is where one necessarily ends up if they do not cut off their thoughts, if they do not repent with decisiveness – here on earth and all the more so after death?
Believe me, brethren, none of these poor souls have peace – I say this with much love and compassion. I bow down to the ground in gratitude to the Mother of God for keeping me pure, however, as a monk, I know cases – God forbid! You know how it is… a monk hears and knows many things. Of course, I will not give any details in public, for it is shameful to even speak of it. These cases vary from all kinds of fantasies and dreams with the loved one, or a star – especially among women – to very, very serious cases. Not that the fanaticism related to artists or the loved one isn’t serious: it can lead to depression or even suicide. I remember that a few young women committed suicide when Michael Jackson died.
When I say serious cases, I mean practical, factual cases. I will only tell you one thing, that there was at one point a father who could have been my grandfather by age – he has now gone to the Lord, may God forgive him and may we have his prayers, for he was a spiritual man – with whom a pilgrim wanted to speak, a pilgrim who held the elder in reverence. Well, when the pilgrim began to share his “adventures,” the father rushed out of the room almost running, they were on the upper floor, and he quickly went to throw up over the balcony. He leaned over and vomited. Do you understand? The father had been in the Holy Mountain since he was a little child and could not actually imagine that he would hear what he heard. But someone who had been burned by the carnal passions because he had been addicted but managed to break free, when hearing this story, he said, “When I heard about these things many years ago, I said I would never ever do them. But after I became maximally addicted, I could no longer find satisfaction even in those things.” He desired things that were increasingly gross and brutal. God forbid! God forbid!
And this inhuman exaltation, to say the least, is also visible, brethren, not only in private, especially if the person in question holds power, has a leadership position. Now, I won’t give controversial examples from everyday life, from the news and so on; I’ll only provide an example that can be said without being too harsh and without involving high-profile figures who appear in the media, but something I witnessed.
Someone many years ago, when I was not at Lacu, wrote me a message about a very close relative of his, asking us to receive him at the monastery where I was, he would come the next day. He will come alone, he said, and he has big problems because, you know, he is harsh, authoritarian, does what he wants, and cannot control his desires, including the carnal ones, if you understand what I mean. In fact, that was the root of his issues. I said, let me ask, and I said, even if I find you a place for tomorrow, it is very difficult to come from one day to the next (it was already afternoon), better postpone…
No, he said, he insists on coming now. I said, “Alright,” I arranged his accommodation, and in about three hours I received a message that he was already at the border of the Holy Mountain. I was surprised because it was impossible for him to come so quickly from Romania. The next morning, however, the man actually entered the Holy Mountain, he arrived at the monastery where I was, and after having received him with kindness and accommodated him, I asked him humbly and with amazement, “But how did you manage to get here from the center of Romania in just over three hours?” And then his face flushed with excitement and with wide eyes full of pleasure, he replied to me with a tone in which pleasure, pride, and harshness were all one. It was very hard for him to reel it in, and [in the context of] him respecting me, he was polite but he couldn’t restrain himself. And he said to me, “Adrenaline! I was driving at over 220 km/h! As fast as the car could make it!” It horrified me. He told me he had the latest Audi. I don’t know, I’m not an expert. I was horrified then. Yes, brethren, don’t forget that carnal pleasure is the result of chemical reactions – read about dopamine, serotonin, and such – and a person can never be fulfilled by a chemical reaction. Only the grace of God fulfills and gives rest to a person.
Brethren, because of this, in the past, the elders used to say that carnal desires should be delayed as much as possible, especially at the early ages when the soul is tender. Otherwise, one no longer knows what chastity is, and harshness appears. Back when I was in college, it was a whole event and young people were embarrassed to walk hand in hand with a girl on the street; today – what can I say – I’m even embarrassed to mention what happens at much younger ages, not only in terms of clothing but also factual. A respectable man, both socially and culturally, as well as in his profession, was telling me that at one point he didn’t know what to do with his daughter who, at 16 or 17 years old, came home crying from a very good school – a renowned one in Bucharest – because she had let slip at school that she was a virgin, and her classmates mocked her so much that they made her cry and she came home in tears. Brethren, the lack of shame is the disintegration of civilization. This is not something I said, but Parmenides – 5th century BC. This truth is so striking that even pagans have realized it.
Well, then how do we expect mental breadth, nobility, delicacy, and the other virtues? Brethren, this is no joke! We must be restrained, we must have this brake of shame, of modesty, of purity – now I dread to think that there are young people today who do not know what modesty, restraint, balance, and purity mean. If they do not know the meaning of mercy, which is par excellence the quality of a spiritual soul, even more so they do not know what modesty and purity mean. A teacher once told me that at one point in first grade, when the students were agitated and rough, he told them, “Behave yourselves with a little more mercy!” And they asked him in confusion, “What does mercy mean?” None of them knew…
Modesty, purity is the drawing of the curtain of humility over things that are not useful for us to examine or touch. Why? Because they have a very high power of attraction, of distorting our mind and attention. The problems of the flesh constitute a particular category here. For this reason, in old Romanian, modesty, purity was also called [having a] “whole mind.” Do you understand? In Greek, it is called “σωφροσύνη” (sophrosini) which comes from “σωάς τας φρένας,” meaning someone has saved (meaning whole) brakes. They are in balance, at peace, with a whole mind.
The mind remains whole, brethren, attention remains whole and does not break, does not shatter into pieces attracted by the centers of physical pleasure when we do not have contact, when we have modesty. We have a great number of strong centers of physical pleasure today on the internet or also in real life because you look down the street and… God forbid! You see something that impregnates itself in your mind, and if you do not cut it off immediately and condemn yourself with pain before God, it is very hard to escape – if you escape at all. If someone does not have their brakes intact for various reasons, then they become loose. Addiction to the fleshly passions is no joke, brethren. It takes strong will, consistency, brethren, do not despair!
Confession is essential! We must weaken the body through fasting, toil, vigil, by engaging in something else, shift your mind. Work! Don’t let your mind stagnate! We must be aware and separate ourselves from the sin that is grinding us. Do not let your mind linger on such thoughts, because it becomes defiled, and obstacles are needed in front of these powerful pleasure centers. Let us avoid, keep a great distance, 10 kilometers away from the causes of sin. You know what I mean. Brethren, do not open, do not look, and do not approach! Do not meet or speak face to face or on the phone with those you should not. You understand very well what I am saying.
Let us not have the powerful pleasure centers near us. This includes jokes, especially inappropriate ones, laughter, not to mention alcohol and drugs. These can push us to the point where we can no longer restrain (put the brakes on) ourselves, and we go downhill like a boulder. Also, as I was saying, let us withdraw our minds from the senses. Let us look downwards, as much as possible and, above all, let us not put our hand where it does not belong. Let us not say that we are strong, brethren! We are not! No one is, especially regarding this issue.
Humility is needed! Know that humility, and not fasting, is the main weapon that keeps us from falling into the passions of flesh. Humility protects us. The passions of flesh are very harmful – they destroy family life, they destroy marriage, they destroy life. Brethren, I know that we are all seeking happiness to the fullest, right? But this doesn’t hide in the flesh, but in the spirit. You see that women do not enter the Holy Mountain, and this is not because we are misogynists, good God forbid! Here, the woman is honored as nowhere else in her most meaningful dimensions: virginity and motherhood.
Beyond that, there have been several miracles of the Mother of God through which she showed that she does not want women on this mountain. I know of at least two: at the monasteries of Vatopedi and St. Paul, when the Mother of God stopped the great empresses – Pulcheria at Vatopedi and Maro at St. Paul – who were bringing gifts to the Mother of God, but she stopped them and told them in both cases that the gifts would be brought by a man and asked them to go back.
Why? Women do not enter the Holy Mountain in order to not struggle in the Holy Mountain with our very nature, because a person’s tendency towards a person of the opposite sex is natural, rooted in nature, brethren. The mind must not be sullied by such fleshly, material fantasies. When they appear, they must be cut immediately, like with a blade. We must pray intensely, focus on the words of the prayer, and if we cannot, then we should shift our minds elsewhere, do something, and not indulge in thoughts, and we must reprimand ourselves. The mind is our connection to the purely spiritual divinity.
When a thick carnal stain appears, or several of them, on the diaphanous of the mind, then the light of divinity no longer enters, the mind darkens, and the person detaches from God; the body pulls the mind away from God into darkness – it falls into the animalistic, into the biological, and, if the person is not careful, even worse than animals, seeking the infinite, the satisfaction in the body, in the species, in the biological, in instinct. The other is no longer seen as a gift of God but as a pile of cells. The mystery of the person that transcends the limits of this world no longer exists. The image and likeness of God, the all-wise and loving, is no longer there, but rather a hackable animal, as some say today. God forbid!
Brethren, we must master our bodies, and we do this with the help of the soul. Souls are those that have the capacity for love, not bodies. The souls are the wise ones, not the bodies. For this reason, people should not seek to unite their bodies before uniting their souls, and here I’m talking about the mystery of marriage – which is a very great mystery, brethren! I say this as a schema-monk of so many years. The marriage service is the umbrella, the crown of the Holy Spirit’s grace over the bride and groom so that they may reach Heaven together in eternity. Let no one defame marriage, for this is very bad. And here I am talking not so much about those who desire monastic life, who must come to monasticism not out of scorn towards marriage, but seeking the higher love of Christ, but I am primarily referring to those who live without breaks (restraint), in cohabitation or in other ways that are shameful to even mention. Without monasticism or marriage, it’s very difficult to achieve this purity of mind because this is a quality of the incorporeal nature. Of course, monasticism is the main path here; however, as I said, we must not scorn marriage. Not at all.
Purity is the beloved home of Christ and the heart’s heaven on earth. In fact, purity is the common name of all virtues. The pure one is the one who even in dreams does not feel any movement (of passion) within himself or any change in his state. The pure one is one who has attained a perfect divine stolidity towards the distinction between bodies, and this is obtained by one who has rejected from themselves love through love, love of God, and has extinguished the material fire with the immaterial fire. And this is because, you see, purity is not an indifference, a lack of vigor, but a spiritual fire that overwhelms the stained heat of the body. We, the small ones, must desire the great, the spiritual things, because if we desire the great and spiritual and not the earthly things, then the spiritual ones push us to despise the earthly and to distance ourselves from the fleshly, from the little things. This is what we learn from the angels, brethren. Purity is the virginity of both body and, especially, of soul, and virginity is the uncompromising state in the face of any sin. Do you understand?
You should know that even in marriage, the Holy Fathers speak of the virginity of the body, there is purity, it is the grace of the Holy Spirit. Let no one who has acquired purity through struggle believe that they have acquired it themselves. For it is impossible for someone to overcome their own nature. Where nature has been overcome, it is known that the One Who is above nature is present. And this comes in time, brethren. May we have courage and patience in the spiritual battle! And let us not judge others, for judgment is one of the main causes of our falling.
Speaking of the fallen, now in the end I believe that the best advice is that of a prostitute, brethren, advice she gave to a man who changed his life and then came to the Holy Mountain. Brethren, the man was settled down, with a good name, a good social position and a happy family, but the man had nothing to do and driven by the enemy, he drove his car on the beltway and talked to a prostitute, paid her, and went to sin with her. On the way, the prostitute, to warm up the atmosphere, asks him about himself, who he is, what he does, about his family – things like that. The man tells her everything, and when he arrives with her in the apartment, the woman turns to him, gives him back the money, and says, “Here’s the deal! Go home because you have a wife and child. Get your mind right and stop with the nonsense!” You know, the Lord said that tax collectors and prostitutes, for their repentance, enter into the Kingdom of Heaven before us! The Lord knows each one! In fact, as usual, only one word is needed from us: let’s be humble!
May the good Lord help us! I thank you for having the patience to stay with me until now! Through the prayers of our Holy Fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us! Amen.
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