Good and Bad Estrangement – Father Theologos

We are estranged because we have estranged ourselves from God and clung to the world. We must estrange ourselves from the world and cling to God again.

Watch this video to learn the causes, problems and fruits of these estrangements.

Enjoy!

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, and now and ever and unto the ages and ages. Amen

Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us! Amen

The cause of alienation

Today we’ll talk a little about alienation. How can we be strangers in this world? How to live our foreignness?

Of course I find it somewhat strange to talk about it because, in fact, today we are very estranged. Alienated from the country — we live in other countries — alienated from our circle of friends, family and ourselves. All this, you should know, occurs due to the fact that we have alienated ourselves from God. God is a stranger to us.

But because God is the center of reference, we are the strangers to God and not God to us.

Alienation and union

So how to live our alienation?

First of all, brethren, we must return to God and alienate ourselves from the world that has alienated us, that has made us strangers.

Because man, having been created, has limits, and because of this he alienates himself from something and unites with something else. Unfortunately, we have chosen to unite with the world, with matter, and to alienate ourselves from God. That, in fact, is Adam’s fall. That is the sin.

And now we have to turn to God.

First of all, this alienation from the world and re-union with God is achieved by us, the monks, to the highest degree, yeah — or that’s how it should be, at least, but others must achieve it. You have to achieve it, you and other people must achieve it in order to be able to get rid of the feeling of alienation.

Alienation from the world — meaning and ways

Now, what is this feeling of alienation and how is alienation from the world achieved?

Alienation, the feeling of alienation is the feeling of loneliness, of forsaking, of parting with God.

How do we alienate ourselves from the world so that this feeling of alienation from God disappears? It’s very simple. Theoretically, at least, it is irreversible parting with all that relating to our birthplace, with all that is familiar to us, that brings us against the purpose of our godliness, against our desire for God.

So, brethren, we alienate ourselves from the world not out of hatred for people—pay great attention here also when it comes to money and other material things, because we remain alienated, but we alienate ourselves from the world out of love for God. Out of love for God!

Now, alienation, you need to know, is also done practically — that is, by our factual shift elsewhere, which is characteristic for monasticism. That is, you go somewhere else.

But in the world, too, this can be done by avoiding parties, bars, clubs, all places and causes of sin. Do you understand?

Physical and spiritual alienation

So it is about physical alienation: we move somewhere else or we no longer attend certain places and the spiritual alienation that is done in our heart and soul like some un-daring behavior, as unknown wisdom, as unshown skill, as hidden life, as unseen target… This is like a poem from Saint John of the Ladder, yes. Undiscovered thought, desire of little, lust of trouble. Do you understand?

And then man becomes unseen for others, alienates himself from others. This alienation is then made a cause of longing for God, increases man’s love from within himself, rejects vain glory, and has such a very deep silence, a deep silence. This is the first fruit of this alienation.

So there is also bodily and spiritual alienation — through behavior.

The thought of remoteness from the world

Now, you should know that this thought is also accustomed at first to upset, to grind and in a prolonged manner especially those who love the Lord, whom God chooses and gives them a divine fire to dwell upon this thought, to be concerned about it.

It is actually the consciousness of the vanity of this world. Man feels that this world as it is— the fallen world we are—is the valley of weeping for him. Valley of weeping.

Man is aware that he is exiled here and that the fate of the exile will be decided at the moment of death, brethren: he will either return home in the arms of the Heavenly Father, either continue his exile in eternality— and that is, in fact, our hell. Good God forbid it!

For this, however, we need to depart a little from pleasure, the pseudo- pleasure, well, the relative pleasure caused by loved ones who darken our minds with their sights, their worries, and so on. That is, we must get out of our comfort zone so that we can be aware of our eternity, be aware of our alienation, and above all, have the power to extract ourselves from there. Do you understand?

Because moving away from people brings to God those who can do it. It directs us to God through scarceness, through turmoil, through asceticism that clears our minds. So we have to get out of this dark ball of worries and exaggerated relationships with others.

Right of reckoning

But as great and as praiseworthy is this alienation, it requires so much righteous accounting. It must be all with discernment, brethren. With discernment! You need to know not every alienation taken to the top is good. If it is not done with the fear of God and under the guidance of an experienced spiritual leader, it can lead to two extremes. That is, to depression and to pride. I am somebody, and I am so strong, I did this and that and so on. Or depression, that is, the man falls and gets discouraged, and there arise problems with the nervous system.

Usually, at the beginning, know that at first, pride appears — I am someone, I came so far, I achieved this, and so on. Do you understand?

And you see that the Lord also says that no prophet is honest in his homeland. Eh, and then, we must be careful lest in the moment we alienate, this work should cause vain glory.

The purpose of alienation

For alienation is separation from all things to make us inseparable from God. Inseparable from the thought of God and not for money, nor for the praise of people in the place where we arrive or, I don’t know…, to boast about our success or our achievements. Do you understand?

The alienated is the lover or worker of weeping, brethren, weeping after God, incessant crying after the Lord. And as I said, the consciousness of this exile of ours here on earth. Of course, because of our mistakes, our sins, Adam’s (sin), in fact. Of course, our sin as well, our personal sins.

So it is the alienated who has come out of contact with all that was his. And (by) all, as I said, here we also count his wealth, thus what is material, but also his own will—I have spoken many times that man’s main wealth is his own will, his self-love, his vain glory. Do you understand? And, this way, man can avoid the problem of pride.

Depression and its remedy

Depression is easily cured if a person walks and talks to others — of course IF he wants to. Because you need to know that the big problem of the depressed is that they indulge in such states and have thoughts against others. That those are not good, this and that and so on, that I am above all this and they do not understand me and… yeah… Suppositions, suppositions. Cut that out, brethren! Go and talk, those who are depressed, go and talk to others and you’ll see how beautiful they are. Despite your suspicions. Even if one may not have your intellectual training, you will see that man is extraordinarily beautiful. Extraordinarily beautiful and very complex, complex in the good sense of the word.

Of course, here it helps a lot — to find people you really can talk to — they help a lot, the communities around the church and especially the monastery setting where there is a spiritual atmosphere, warm, open, of course, closer to the heart of the people. Because of this, brethren, churches are capital, especially when we are alienated only in flesh. I mean, first of all, people who are abroad, who live abroad. Be close to the church because otherwise it will be hard for you! Do you understand?

Attention to the lack of love in behavior

Okay, we must, when we go to these communities, be careful to cut our will and not pressure others with demands — that is, for them to pay attention only to us, to ask continuously or with even tyrannical behavior, without love. Do you understand?

And when I say tyrannical behavior, I mean the fact that all Western society is suffering from diseases of nerves that stem from this tyrannical behavior, a behavior without love. And this is mostly because of their optics, which is mercantile, concerning business, and is entrepreneurial. Economic optics is a competitional optics that destroys interpersonal relationships due to lack of love and for money. Because money, you know this very well, it destroys the love between us because we fight to make more money and we fight to bring down the other, in fact, or at least reduce its market share.

The Grace

However, whoever alienates himself for God finds his balance and slowly gets rid of distortions, because he finds God’s love directly — that is, the grace of God that comes into his heart and through others around him who have this love, as I said. These communities are very important. Of course, every man in these spiritual communities at his own measure. Love is very important because love is the fuel of our existence.

Man lives with love, that is, the soul lives with love. Man lives with love, as the body lives with food, water and air, so does the soul live with love. And because of that, as I said, you have to find these spiritual communities.

What to avoid

Now, if we rush to alienation and loneliness, let us not look for souls in love and love with this world. Because as the Lord says — theft comes unexpectedly. Do you know this? And because of this, many who tried to save others among with themselves, to take with them some careless and heavy people, they lost themselves with those, they sank with them into the whirlwind of the world, the fire of their soul extinguished with time.

Brothers, if we have received the flame, we must run, as we do not know when it will go out and leave us in darkness. When I speak here of the flame I allude, of course, to the image of the Olympic flame, but first of all I mean the flame of God’s love that has been planted in our heart by a spiritual leader who can be the parents, the confessor, an elder, the abbot and so on. Do you understand?

It is not required for us, brethren, to save others, but we are asked to save ourselves first of all. So let’s take care of ourselves and after that, God cares for others. So if we really want to stretch out to them a stick, but not our whole hand. And if we see that he does not listen, leave him in God’s care, do not torment yourself too much with him because he will pull you down too. It is very important.

Of course, there are special cases in which we are talking about parents, relatives or special positions such as the abbot’s position, but then we must discern so as not to give birth to repulsion. Too much nagging, too much bothering can have the exact opposite effect of what we want.

So because of this, brethren, as I said, this alienation from God is very good.

Temptations

If we alienate, let us take care to guard ourselves from the temptation of fickleness and of love for pleasures. We must have a program, brothers! And this is because alienation gives many opportunities for the emergence of these temptations: both fickleness and love for pleasures.

Because man, being alienated, being somewhat alone with God, at that moment has little control and validation of those around him. That’s why it’s very important to have few friends — that they have to exist, never be completely alone, have a spiritual father — to have validation — and by that, to be able to take care of this fickleness. And of course, the love of pleasures to which any son of Adam is heading. So pay great attention to fickleness, so to the program and to the love of pleasure.

We need, as I said, attention, watchfulness, a program, asceticism and distrust of one’s own thoughts. Let us not believe in our thoughts, brethren! Because the moment we advance spiritually — well, who am I and so on. Cut it down, brethren, do not believe in your thoughts! I’ve said this very many times, and I’m going to repeat it.

Remedies

But if we have this watchfulness, this ascetic spirit then this alienation leads us to escaping our passions. That is, the results are extraordinarily beautiful, extraordinarily important, and in fact, it is all about our salvation.

But we must be careful as we no longer have connections to the world, to the environments that take us away from God, because then we are like an airplane that wants to take off, but it has the landing gear tied down with a lot of straps. And then it will not be able to take off, and it will collapse on takeoff and the collapse will be large. I told you that.

Relatively to alienation, we must have great, great care to run as if whipped away from the places of falls. Let’s not say that we are strong and can resist. We are not strong. We do not endure, brethren. If we see the forbidden fruit, we’ll fall. And here I refer mainly to bodily sins. Brothers, avoid those, avoid those!

The mules of the Holy Mountain

Let me tell you something that is said in the Holy Mountain, concerning the mules of the Holy Mountain, the mules, the donkeys of the Holy Mountain.

In the Holy Mountain it is known that the mole has a property: that he never passes again the place where he once stumbled, no matter what. You can put a Persian carpet on, you can add concrete, you can fire a cannon, they just don’t… Okay, I’m on the road now, if there’s a path, on the one side there is the mountain as you see here and on the other side there is the precipice, then you have to go around I don’t know where and so on. He puts his feet like that, hence the phrase “stubborn as a mule” and then he no longer move and goes there.

Brethren, I am not saying now to be donkeys, but we must learn from mules this example, that is, brothers, no longer pass through the place where you have sinned. Detour by 100 meters places of sin, so to speak. 100 meters away from these places, because they don’t help, you’ll fall again, we’ll fall again. Do you understand?

Know that devils do exactly the opposite, that is, they advise not to part with those in the world, saying that we will earnhigher pay if, seeing I don’t know…, a woman, for example, we will defeat ourselves. We must not listen! Rather, do the contrary. Do you understand?

The Temptation of Saving Others

On the other hand, if we get rid of all these temptations, when we separate ourselves from our life for a shorter or longer time and gain a little piety, humility, spiritual knowledge, or even restraint, then the thoughts of futility, of vain glory — of self-conceiving, in fact — appear and urge us again to go into the world, to build many, supposedly, to save them, all that. Let us be especially useful to those known, that who we got and so on.

And especially if we are proficient in word and rational knowledge that does not come from experience—that is, books and so on, then these thoughts tell us to go into the world as preachers, as soul saviors, as teachers, so that what we have properly gathered in this harbor of tranquility, alienation from the world, miserably dispel into the open sea of this world.

You see because of this I, thank God, in parentheses, do not want to leave the Holy Mountain and you think I have an online (live) presence. I do not have an online presence. You see me online, but I’m filming this video right now in front of a camera, and it’s going to take as long as it’s going to last, 20 minutes or half an hour at most, and that’s it. After that, I return to my spiritual program. And now I am not out in the world. But I speak ok spiritual things of which, glory to God, with the prayers of my abbot, I know something, and I say these things to remind them to myself as well, brethren. Do you understand? I’m not saying these things only to appear on the Internet. I speak for myself and for those who make use of it and who have asked me to speak to them. Do you understand?

So I don’t leave my spiritual program and I deal with spiritual matters. But if we were to go live, go around the world, hold conferences over conferences… Good God forbid it! At least me, to my spiritual measures that are very small of course, as you have realized and because of this I also ask for forgiveness for this, I am not able and do not want to do that.

Running away from the world

And it is very clear to me that we must flee from the amalgam of this world without going back because if we return then we will all feel like Lot’s woman. That is, we’re going to become a pillar of salt. That is, we will be dead, motionless, unworking, unfruitful to ourselves even if it seems that we are adding salt to other people’s dishes, the food of others. Do you understand? That’s what the symbolism of salt is. Because of this the Scripture says that Lot’s woman became a pillar of salt the moment she turned back to Sodom. Do you understand?

You must know that yet it is possible for some, if we have moved past the measure of a beginner, past spiritual infancy, and have surpassed our status and cleansed ourselves so to perfection, we have cleansed ourselves to a great degree and having revelation from God, by the blessing of our spiritual leader, that is, not by ourselves — so if the abbot gives blessing, gives the spiritual blessing, then we can return to the world for a cause, with a purpose, after we have, well, saved ourselves so to say, in quotation marks of course, although no one is saved.

And because of this there must be a revelation from God through an elder, through the abbot, then we can return to save others, to help others, to help in the world. This is happening, but this is not my case and as I said, we recommend that man stay in his alienation and longing for God.

For yet even Moses, brethren, so the God-seer, being sent by God himself for the salvation of his nation… and even he complained there. Okay, it’s not good to slander, but he said — Lord, but who am I as I stutter?! And so Moses did not go doing his will, but God sent him. Even Moses had many dangers to endure in the darkness of this world, in the whirlwind of this world. And in Egypt, and in the Arabian desert, and so on.

No hatred

Now, to make it clear and speak balanced, do not push people into different extremes — we don’t withdraw from the world, because we hate our people or places. Let it not be like that! So I don’t hate my parents — God forbid! On the contrary. May the good God bless Mom and Dad! Let it not be out of hatred of them, but that we keep ourselves from partying with our so-called dearest ones because they drive us away from God. So we have to get rid of the harm that comes from this love, if you wish, this worldly, natural love, because we have to rise to a higher spiritual plane.

So it’s much better to upset our family than God, because God also saves those with one foot in the pit, while acquaintances, relatives, and so on who are far from God can destroy those with one foot in heaven. Do you understand?

True friends and relatives

True friends and relatives are the ones who help us get closer to God and fight spiritually with us, and can help us in the moment of death, in judgment, as the Lord Himself has said. Now I remember how the Lord says: “My mother and My brethren are they who do the will of My Father which is in heaven.” Do you understand? It is very important. Let those be our friends.

Let us be careful here because one is longing for God and another is longing for their parents. The first must extinguish the second, if we of course want to save ourselves. He who says that he has both, deceives himself, you should know that, brethren. And the Lord said, “No one can serve two masters.” Okay, he said more, but now I quote just that.

Because of this the Lord came and said, “I came not to bring peace but sword.” That is, the sword refers to the fact that it separates God lovers from world lovers, lovers of material things from lovers of immaterial things, lovers of glory from those humble in conscience, regardless of the degree of kinship and/or friendship between them or the amount of tears, reproaches, promises that they shall please us all and all that. Do you understand?

We must not back down, not miss our take-off because of this stuff. I know people who did not cry in their lives and wept the moment their son came to monasticism or wanted to have a higher spiritual life. So all this is very dangerous, it’s not from God, but from the evil one. Do you understand?

The glory of the world

Another topic.

When we alienate, it means first of all to alienate ourselves from the glory of the world that means nothing — it’s vain, brethren — although it seems to us that we are someone important in our little circle of friends. When someone praises us, praises our mother, aunt and so on, immediately the horn of pride rises, that we are somebody important.

Brethren, we are like the rooster in the yard, as Saint Silouan says. So one is the rooster that is believed to be cocky in his yard, surrounded by a few chickens and another is the eagle that sees overseas and countries. And of course, if you think about the vastness of the universe, we are nothing, not even a speck of dust are we. We are a zero. Do you understand?

This circle of friends, however, is essential to rid us of depression. Because of this when I speak of alienation I say that we must go on a higher and not lower existential plane, we must not close ourselves in ourselves because we are depressed, but go upward towards God, open ourselves to God. We need to make this effort.

When we withdraw from the world, however, let us retire to the places most without bodily comfort or psychic comfort like the vain glory we have talked about today. We have to look for places where there is as much as possible only spiritual consolation, because otherwise our passions will come after us. Do you understand? We’re going to be with them weighing down on us, alone and that’s not good.

Of course, as I said, we must also have a spiritual father.

Of course, on a bodily level, these places can be created somewhat relatively in the world as well, in the sense that we may have more austere furniture, a more rational diet, a retreat somewhere to a house. On the spiritual level, however, it is advisable to hide our achievements, glory motives — who we are and so on. This is not to contradict ourselves, that is, we go to alienate ourselves and on the other hand, we boast loudly about who we are, and we actually lose all the use of alienation.

Discernment in alienation

It takes discernment in alienation to succeed in this life. You should know that, brethren! We do not succeed without this. So let’s not sit too comfortable in our armchairs. We need to go outside.

But if we return after relative alienation and after we have achieved something, we return too close to people who are far from God, so from the environments from which we have left, then either we will be trapped by their traps, or we will stain our hearts with the thought of them. That thought can be either positive — a thought of worldly pleasure — or a negative thought — that is, we judge them.

Because of this let us only have friends those who can help us be closer to God. I mean and I repeat this especially for the young ones. Let’s be careful when it comes to those who we become close to and not go with all kinds of colleagues who cannot be of use to us spiritually.

Conclusions and exhortations

In the case of achievements, as I said, we have Abraham as example and, first of all, our Lord Jesus Christ who descended from heaven to earth. So the Lord made the greatest alienation on this earth, and because of this he also had the greatest success. That is, the Resurrection. Do you understand?

Brethren, it takes asceticism, it takes alienation to achieve something on this earth and not be a loser.

Let the good God help us!

Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us! Amen

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