Suicide Does Not Solve Anything – Father Theologos

Watch a clip that the enemy fought us very hard on so that it wouldn’t come out. All our recordings, even if we prepare a little in advance, are filmed only once according to what the Mother of God grants. This one was filmed 4 times: the first time the microphones were wrongly placed, the second time they didn’t turn on at all, the 3rd time it started raining in the middle of the shoot and even though I continued filming, from the middle onwards nothing could be heard because of the water falling on the microphones!

It was only the 4th time that we managed to make the video that you see.

Why? Because we talk about the causes, effects and how to avoid suicide – a scourge that plagues many of our young people between the ages of 17 and 30.

Enjoy!

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit now and forever and unto the ages of ages. Amen. Through the prayers of our Holy Fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us. Amen.

Brethren, I was asked by some fathers, some spiritual fathers from a very large and well-known monastery in Romania, to talk about suicide. Now know that, in fact, I choose all themes based on what the Mother of God shows me through the people she validates in front of me.

Now I especially mention that some fathers asked me to talk about suicide because, brethren, I think it’s a very, very serious topic, a topic I wouldn’t have taken up on my own because I consider myself unworthy, even though I did mention it tangentially. Do you understand?

And you should know that the devil fights very hard on this topic for this video not to work out, and for young people not to be helped.

And why? Because young people are the ones mainly targeted by the devil to commit suicide. Statistics show that we are talking about the age range between 17 and 30 years. That’s when it happens. And of course, also after 70 years and upwards when people already feel useless, although no man is useless on this earth. Nobody! Neither old nor young, because they are all images of God and go towards the likeness [of God], and therefore the value of their souls is irreducible. Irreducible! Do you understand?

And actually, I said I’m talking about this, why? Because in the past episodes, in the analysis of “The Ladder” we came to the part about the deepest repentance, of the greatest sins that eat away at the conscience – even if they may be minor for others – as I mentioned in the last episode.

And so suicide is, brethren, the most undesirable phenomenon connected to these great sins. Because suicide is the opposite of repentance. Now, to understand this phenomenon of suicide, we must remember who man is, who Adam is; I’ve said it before, but it doesn’t matter, it’s good to repeat it so that we learn because it’s very, very important. 

Very briefly, it says in the Book of Genesis that God created man in His image and likeness. God says, “We created man (singular) in Our image and likeness (plural) and again it says in Scripture “And God created man (singular) — male and female (plural) He created him.”

What do we know about God? That there is one God in Three Persons, brethren. This full union, this interpenetration is achieved through love, through obedience, through the identity of will, and is called, in theological terms, perichoresis. Well, if man is in the image and likeness of God, it means that we are all created as one person, brethren, one Adam, in the image and likeness of the one God.

We are not 7 billion people here on earth. We are one Adam in 7 billion people of two genders – male and female. Unfortunately, today, we no longer have this experience, this experience of Adam’s oneness because we are burdened by sin, by lack of love and lack of obedience. The fall of Adam consists in the fact that Adam, this unique mirror of the one God, fell and broke through disobedience, as I said, through lack of love for God.

Now the global Adam is broken into constituent individuals. We have spoken about this many times before. So, heaven is full union, the intertwining between us, and hell is eternal torment, it is breaking away from the global Adam, from this unity – hell is eternal loneliness, eternal lack of love, eternal disobedience. Understand?

The moment a person is torn apart because of himself or because of others, or it seems to him that he is broken —because often it is delusion, brethren— it seems to him that he is cut off from the global Adam, then the person experiences the torments of hell. The connecting bond between Adam’s members, as I said is love, it is God’s uncreated energy, it is God’s grace, and that’s why when a person has less grace, a lack of grace – because of personal sins, or because of a significant wave of hatred from outside from humans or demons, then that person experiences the torments of hell.

Well, brethren, hell and heaven are existential, they are states [of being] of course they are places, but first of all we are talking about states, a person is therefore totally distorted in hell. This hell, this separation from others, can be absolute – after death – or relative before death. In any case, however, due to the fact that it is existential distortion, every existence wants to escape this distortion, this torment.

But the moment the existence in question – man – no longer hopes to escape this torment, that is, he despairs, then, in desperation, he chooses what he considers to be the annihilation of his distorted existence. That is, suicide. So we first have suicide in thought, in resolution, and then – God forbid! – suicide in deed as well. Well, but here we have some capital deceptions, brethren.

First of all:

1. If someone commits suicide – he does not annihilate his existence, he does not cease to exist, but on the contrary, he exists much more intensely – of course, either in his virtue, or in his distortion.

2. If someone commits suicide, he loses the possibility to change his existential plane, because by the body disappearing, he no longer sees how limited he is, that he needs a toilet, sleep, food and therefore [the person who commits suicide] stabilizes in his position. He no longer has a body, he no longer has the flexibility of humility. There is no more time. Understand? Body and time are absolutely necessary for repentance. Well, and with suicide body and time disappear. So suicide doesn’t solve any problems.

Let me repeat myself; suicide does not solve any problem – on the contrary! – existing problems become permanent and amplify to paroxysm.

So what are the causes of suicides? Well, I just said, brothers the first cause is loneliness, lack of love – whether real or seeming, that is, “It seems to me” – and lack of obedience which is obviously related to love – whether real or seeming.

So the first rule brothers, when you know or suspect that someone has suicidal tendencies, do not leave them alone! And immediately seek help – if possible specialized – that is, an experienced spiritual father, brothers. This is the specialist.

In any case, it would be very good if there were more, for there to be unity, for there to be love to sustain that person. Understand? And the possibility of obedience because the vessel of those who are close to suicide is empty of both love and obedience, as I said, and because of this, the problems arise. Understand?

More than anything, brothers, in such situations, we must pray, to acquire grace from God, that is, love, and give others our love, our time and attention, our dedication. If we don’t have almighty love from the Almighty God, then we won’t be able to give, to pump love further into others. As I said, we must pay attention to them and talk to them and until our brother meets with the spiritual father, if he wants to meet, if we manage to convince him to confess – this is a big problem of course – it is good to “confess him,” so to speak, to discuss with him. That is, to get out of him the toxic thoughts he has. Of course, to a certain degree because we are not spiritual fathers.

Do not think “I better not get involved,” because “I am not sure what to do,” because in such cases, the best solution is to act. The indifference of others is the main cause of loneliness, brothers.

I remember one monk went so far as to want on his cross to be written “Alone among those who were with him, he died of the indifference of others.” Brothers, let there be no such societies! Let us be loving, sensitive, ask the other with loving humility, directly and sincerely “How are you doing? How do you deal with these things you’re going through?” “Do you feel like you’re hopeless?” “Do you feel like giving up?” – of course you won’t ask someone who doesn’t suffer from this, but nowadays pretty much everyone is depressive, unfortunately. God forbid! Because everyone is far from God, I speak of the planetary plane. Well, so we don’t talk to people who don’t suffer something like this or to those who go to confession, because in the end, you’re going to get the opposite; on the one hand – that is, they’re going to think you’re trying to pry – and beyond that, we’re not spiritual fathers, like I said, we don’t have that qualification.

Unfortunately, very often, those who reach such states, however, do not have a good relationship with their spiritual father – If they have a spiritual father, of course – and that’s why they end up here. I don’t absolutize, not always, but it’s a root cause. You can even ask, “Are you thinking of dying? Of death? To kill yourself?” “Have you thought about how and when to do it?” “Do you have access to guns or things like that?” Understand?

You have to make him take those thoughts out of him and if you make him take them out of him, then you will see that these thoughts will decrease in intensity because he is also horrified of the things he thinks. St. John of the Ladder likewise says, “The serpent that is revealed disappears.” Understand?

Of course, if he replies, “I haven’t thought about it yet,” and so on, you’ll cut it short without diminishing your love for him. You say, “Don’t even think it. I care about you. I love you. Courage! To me you are my loved one, so to speak. Let’s discuss! Let’s talk! How can I help you?” You need to talk, brothers! Understand?

I remember now a person very, very dear person to whom a friend said, when they were both in college, “Come on, let’s talk!” My acquaintance said with some reluctance, “I don’t have time now!” Within two days his friend hanged himself and my acquaintance to this day cannot forget that. Understand? God forbid!

When you talk to the other, always give him courage and love. I have said it many times and I repeat myself. Great attention, brothers, that the moment we give courage to someone, we do not do it hypocritically, lying to ourselves, but it is about the purely existential fact of the global Adam, because love is the existential fuel. Understand? And we have to buy that person time.

Once again, the state in which a person dies, in that state he stabilizes. So if the person dies in his worst state, in that state he stabilizes. So the person must necessarily gain courage and gain time to get out of there.

Now you’re going to tell me that the person can’t get out of there. Not so! God always gives him the opportunity to get out, because if God no longer wants the person to get out, then God himself takes his life. Let us not stop life, brothers. Leave it to God, for He is wiser than us, He knows better. He knows what each of us can do.

And since God prolongs life, it means we can be better. Believe me, God is doing His best to save man until the last second. We’ve seen it with Judas, we’ve seen it with the Holy Apostle Peter, and we’ve seen it countless times to this day. It is necessary only for a person to obey God. Obedience! For a person to be open to God, even if only 0.0001%.

I remember a case where there was a student who had a deception in love and decided to commit suicide, poor man. Well, he climbed up on the balcony railing of the student dormitory where he was, up on the 4th floor to throw himself down.

And as he stood with his feet on the railing, holding the pillar of the balcony in the corner with his hand, the thought came to him, God gave him a thought, He told him “You’re going to catch a cold on the way down.” And to the bottom the man will die, not catch a cold. Understand? But this young man was a hypochondriac, he was afraid of the cold. Well, and God gave him this thought, “Beware you’re going to catch a cold all the way down!” And the man stopped throwing himself. Understand?

So do you see how far God humbles Himself, how far He goes? He didn’t tell him about hell and existential plans and so on. He told him “You’re going to catch a cold on the way down.” He descended to his understanding. Understand?

Another case; there was a Greek who had become addicted to drugs and other bodily passions – God forbid! It is shameful to even say – and to satisfy his lusts and sins he went to the Amazon jungle. Well, and what this man did, you can’t even imagine and you don’t have to imagine. Understand? And finally, when he came to amen or aman, meaning he couldn’t keep going, he was full of sins and drugs and all that, of course grace no longer worked in him and the man said that he would not get out of here, he had wasted his whole life and so on.

Then he went up to Angel Falls, which you know is the highest waterfall in the world, and there he stood on the edge of the precipice, 1 km from the bottom. And as he stood there, he said with all his being, dizzy with drugs and drink and all the sins he had committed, he said with all his being that God does not exist, because if He had existed, He would have saved me. And at that moment, brothers, God gave him a grace, a power that took away all that haze and all that addiction to drugs, sex, drink and so on. Understand? And now the man is in Greece, has a family, children, goes to church and so on.

See if a person is open, if he has the disposition to be obedient even 0.0001% to God, He saves him.

God saves him for the sake of others sometimes. I remember now that there was a woman in a country in Europe who got divorced and who was absolutely alone there, only with her little girl, poor thing, and she became addicted to alcohol and of course in the end threw herself off a building. God saved her as she fell on the clotheslines on which the laundry was laid out to dry. And God saved her for the sake of her and the little girl. Understand? Of course, it is better not to end up here.

That’s what it takes not to get here. For this, however, a constant spiritual life is needed, experience is needed. More concretely, in this case confession and Holy Communion are very helpful and avoiding loneliness. And to avoid loneliness, we must be obedient, brothers! Let’s let things go, let us not get bogged down in our opinion, let us not be rebels without a cause and even with a cause. It’s not good!

Confession is required especially when we see that we have a chronic passion that we cannot overcome. Do not think that you can solve it on your own! Let’s not try to solve things on our own, because it won’t work out! Sometimes it seems that way, but in the long run it is not. The devil knows very well what he is doing. This is especially true for bodily pleasures – from alcohol to drugs and sex. Understand?

It is obvious that we need to move away from them, but in practice it is more difficult than in theory – and the main causes here are habit and “friends” and toxic environments. So-called friends. We must use our willpower, our bravery—to correctly use the incensive part [of our soul] that is, courage, against ourselves to cut these addictions to attractive things as well as to people who draw us to sin and cause us to sin. Understand? We don’t use the incensive part against others, but against ourselves.

To have this strength, however, courage is also needed, but we need to replace it with a constant spiritual life and good friends. Who is a good friend? The friend who can draw us closer to God, that is, to perfection, to our spiritual maturity. Spiritual maturation…

Part of spiritual maturation is also avoiding extremes. I mean, please forgive me, I love young people very much, but you see that today they are extraordinarily excited and happy and tomorrow, extraordinarily gloomy, with their lips pursed. Brothers, not like that! These behaviors show a dopamine addiction, the desire to be liked, to the point of vainglory. It’s typical behavior on social media, brothers. Let’s not stand out, because if we stand out we will stand out in a way that we don’t want to. Do you understand?

These sudden outbursts, these momentary explosions can have very bad results, and here I am not talking only about the uncontrolled tics that are a real epidemic today, especially among girls, but also about much more serious things to which these uncontrolled outbursts can lead.

Let me give you a case: Efimia was a girl of a very good family from Greece, they worked in Athens and went on holiday as a family to the country house. Well, and there, in the evening, Efimia’s mother sends Efimia to the village to buy something. She returns and, on the road, coincidently – although there is no coincidence – Efimia meets a schoolmate in the back of a truck and starts talking about school there. And that’s where her brother sees her. And the brother rushes to his mother’s house and says, “Mom, Mom, Efimia is talking to a boy in the back of a truck at night.”

Well, the moment Efimia gets home, her mother gives her such an aggressive reprimand. She also gives her a couple of slaps and Efimia, in an outburst like this, due to the injustice her brother has caused, decides to commit suicide. And she goes to her father’s shed, takes some poisons, some chemical fertilizers from there, and the next morning she goes to the garden to commit suicide. There was a tall cornfield in the garden.

And when she enters the garden, she walks past her father who was at the gate, she is doing something there, and when she gets in the middle of the cornfield to commit suicide, at that moment, a priest, a monk, appears before her. And that monk says to her:

“Efi, what are you doing? You don’t do well what you do. Throw away what you have in your hand because Christ is love, He is unity, He is light, whereas in hell you will be totally alone, you will have this hatred, you will have this bitterness that you have in you now, in eternity you will be alone! Efi, what are you doing? Throw away what you’ve got!”

And then Efimia, impressed by the unexpected presence of the hieromonk in the cornfield, throws it away and the hieromonk disappears from her sight. Efimia is speechless, turns back and asks her father, “Dad, who is the priest who entered the garden?” And her father says, “Well, nobody came in!”

The event remains unexplained and when they return to Athens, at some point in the evening they receive visitors. Several persons came to their house because it was a well-known family – public figures – and Efimia is made by her mother to bring the treats tray. And when she enters the room with the tray, she drops it from her hands. In one corner the hieromonk smiled at her. He says, “Efi, what are you doing? I am Father Porphyrios.” It was Saint Porphyrios whom God had sent to save this little girl from suicide for nothing, for an outburst, as I said. Understand?

This is promoted today by social networks. Speaking of social networks as environments generating depression, going as far as suicide – the problem is very serious brothers.

Think of an adolescent, on her street, in her circle of friends at home or at school. In her eyes she may not be the smartest or the most beautiful, but clearly her parents and friends cherish her – especially her parents love her – and beyond that her other friends with whom she compares herself – I don’t say it’s good that she compares, but, eh, we’re all sons of Adam, and beyond that, she also wants to know if it’s going well and so on – okay, her other friends she’s comparing herself to are pretty much similar, brethren. What can I say? One is a bit better at one thing, another better at another thing, as well as regarding knowledge, way of life and pretty much all aspects of life.

It is, the moment a young man and especially a young woman sinks into social networks, the love of those close to them disappears, on the one hand and on the other hand, they compete with the most appreciated worldwide, great influencers, great stars – she sees photos on Instagram or video on TikTok or YouTube and so on. Understand?

Nota bene: these big stars, influencers are not even like that in everyday life, but they appear like this because of makeup, discreetly hidden studio lights or locations where the scene is photographed or filmed, showing that they go to the gym and so on, and especially because of AI algorithms that beautify, make a person leaner and all that. Understand?

Well, how can we compare? So think what pressure there is on this young person! On the one hand, he remains alone away from the love of his parents, because he actually relates to the screen and is alone and away from the love of his friends, and on the other hand, he puts himself in competition with the whole planet.

This, of course, besides the fact that sometimes totally unhealthy behaviors are promoted – totally dubious contests and other things that empower young people in totally wrong directions. “It’s good to have a car, to be fashionable, to hold my breath for so long, to dance I don’t know how…”

Well, this totally disproportionate competition, without the loving support of those around me, the loneliness generated by the lack of a real person, in front of me and alone only with the screen – all this generates very ugly depressions that, if amplified by phenomena such as cyberbullying or cancel culture – can lead to suicide. Understand?

Another great cause of suicides appears here: the feeling of being trapped without the possibility of escaping the onslaught of hatred. Trapped under ice – as someone said. Brothers, it’s very, very serious. From these states only the grace of the crucified Christ can save you completely. Grace is manifested, as I said, also through the serious help of friends who understand you.

Paradoxically, brothers, we must compare ourselves with the repentance of the saints! That’s what we have to compare ourselves to, not influencers! Because the repentance of the saints leads us to compare ourselves with who we were yesterday and see if we are better today. The repentance of the saints takes us forward, while the fierce competition on Instagram or TikTok takes us back. Understand?

A totally destructive thing here is to show the one who suffers from it, or the one who is prone to it, to be shown a lack of understanding. Death, brothers, is a lack of understanding. Separation – that’s death. Understand? It’s the breaking apart of [the global] Adam.

The problem is very delicate because often the blame is shared: there are the passions of the one who got into this situation, but sometimes, equally, and even to a very large extent – depending on the case – there is the indifference of the parents or their lack of understanding.

Sometimes children are even told, “Good for you! That’s what you deserve!” With hardness. When it was the parents that gave them over to screens… Brothers, there should not be a separation as much as possible. This hardness is needed only when the other is tough and self-confident, not when he is on the verge of suicide.

Let’s not forget that in the past, brothers, as I said, young people enjoyed the love of their parents, of those around them, they were together and there was no merciless competition on a planetary level for attention with the biggest influencers – what is happening today on the net, on social networks.

In the past, young people were sure of their parents’ love. Why? Because they were together and they were also sure of the love of the older ones who were wiser and closer to God, had a healthy value system and listened to them, not to the anonymous posters on Facebook, Insta and God knows, TikTok. Understand?

In such conditions, the elders could reprimand the young people because they were with them almost all the time and the interpersonal relationship was very close. Today, however, you are all busy with careers, each in his own world, with his own screen from which the person disappeared, from which God disappeared, and therefore the right way of being [disappeared]. Under these circumstances, these corrections are much harder to make. Because of sin, today man no longer exists properly, I said that he is distorted, he no longer exists fully, and therefore any pressure on him is felt much more.

The person is much weaker. As in a man with burns, with wounds, understand? So now if I take someone by the shoulder or caress like this, the person considers this a gesture of love. But if a person is full of burns, wounds, he starts screaming. Understand? We have to be careful.

And to make matters worse, the moment the person disappears, love disappears and, therefore, the other is a stranger, even if he is my parent, even if he is my son. If we do not give others the necessary time, if we are not personal examples, we are strangers. So the moment we come to correct the other, being strangers, the other asks, “Who are you, anyway?” – “Who are you, really?”

Of course where does the paroxysm go to? To the loss of the loving connection with God. And here I am referring to other pseudo-gods, idols, brothers! Because the absolutization of an entity, of a relationship, transforms it into god, into an idol. For example, a romantic relationship with a person of the opposite sex or a social position, wealth, political power – for example, likes and views on social networks. Eh, if a person feels himself breaking up with his pseudo-god without hope of reuniting with him – for example, breaking up with his loved one, losing his fame on Insta or YouTube – then man begins to fall, to decay, to get nervous. It goes as far as suicide, I know cases.

Then he must be helped, the person must be understood, not kicked in the head with a boot.

Help from God is needed, love [is needed], prayer [is needed], because there is great pain then. The pain of DISILLUSIONMENT that comes from a previous delusion. Of course it’s a sin, but let’s not see it that way. Let us forget sin in such moments as the father of the prodigal son forgot his sin. Understand?

You should know that young people respond much more violently to lack of understanding – going to extreme forms. Extreme. I’m not saying it’s good, brothers. Because death is lack of understanding.

Also—and I am addressing young people now—know that we – or at least I – understand you. Believe me! I am a sinner, yet I try not to be an old armchair general who prepares wars for young people to die in. I know what I’m saying. Believe me!

So I was actually with one person at one point, there is a whole story of how she found me, and I was talking with her on Skype. She had gotten drunk and wanted to commit suicide. And thank God there is no block button on Skype, to block me, she constantly wanted to block, to cut off contact with me to kill herself. And I was after the person to keep her there, to not let her kill herself. I mean, believe me, I’m not talking from an armchair.

Brothers, young people, we understand you! Do not do it, do not commit irreparable acts. Courage! Christ is the Light of the World! We really know what we’re talking about! We are with you! We also know music, we know all that, the big dramas in music with great singers, with bands and so on. We know what we’re talking about.

Understand? And we choose Christ knowingly. It’s not that we don’t know anything else. We know. So may the good God help us! And have courage, courage, courage, courage! Courage! Because we are close to you and God is close to you. It’s NOT as the thought tells you! Don’t believe your thoughts! And move forward because you are all very beautiful.

May God help us! Through the prayers of our Holy Fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us. Amen.

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