My Spiritual Father, Father Iulian – Father Pimen Vlad

Listen to a warmhearted word from Father Pimen Vlad in which he pays homage to the personality of his beloved spiritual father, Father Iulian Lazar, upon his passing to eternal life.

Enjoy

Well, my dear ones, we meet again! What I would like to talk to you about now; I think you have all heard that Father Iulian from Prodromos has gone to the Lord! Just yesterday was the funeral. Father Iulian… We used to call him the Elder. He was, we can say, like an Abba of the Paterikon. You know, Abba so-and-so. That’s how we used the word, we all got used to it here – the Elder.

Who was the Elder? Who was he for me? He was a father with a mother’s heart, that was the Elder to me. For 28 years I had him as a spiritual father. What does 28 years mean? More than half a life. The Elder endured me, listened to me, was patient with me always, no matter what I came to him with; He always received me with love. With love, with patience, with forbearance, you never saw him angry, or that he didn’t have time, everything he did was done out of love. The Elder…

Now, you’ve heard about him before. He has now been talked about. He went to the Lord at the age of 97, think about it! 97 years old now in January. On January 8. Think about the great age our Elder got to, born in 1926, born in Vorona, Botosani. Do you see how many people Botosani gave? In another frame we also see Eminescu and many others. Father Cleopas, also from nearby, was there. So, spiritual fathers.

What shall I say of the Elder? Look, I have a photo here, I don’t know, from about 7-8 years ago, where I was at the Elder’s for confession. Just so you can see a little bit. The Elder Iulian. He lived in a simple family there, in Vorona, until almost 20 years old, when he thought of going to the monastery. And I’ll tell you a few words, how he said he went to the monastery. A neighbor of his, also from the village, thought, “Come on, let’s go to the monastery!” They felt God’s call. But the Elder thought, “Well, if I tell my parents, they won’t agree. Because, like any parent would say – “Where are you going to a monastery?” and so on. “It’s better not to tell them. We leave and announce it afterwards.” 

And what did the Elder do? He left a letter written somewhere in the house, put it nicely and went with this neighbor of his to go to Neamţ monastery! Neamţ Monastery which is close to Sihăstria monastery. They thought, “We’re going there.” And in the letter he wrote, “We are leaving for Neamț and where we will arrive we will let you know.” Because at that time, as it was after World War II, it was harder, poorer, people still went to work wherever they could. And they didn’t tell them, “We are going to the monastery.” They said to Neamț. It was understood that maybe he went to work there, to look for some work, until they were taken into the army, to earn another penny. They didn’t know, but they said, ‘We’re going to let you know where we’re going.’ 

They left on foot. It takes 3 days to walk from Vorona to the monastery. They arrived in Târgu Neamț, from there they went towards Neamţ Monastery. And God ordained it so that somewhere at an intersection at Vânători, where there was a path that led to Sihăstria or one could continue on to Neamţ Monastery, they met a father from Neamț. They talked to him:

“Where are you going?” [he asked].

“Look, we would like to go to the monastery in Neamț.”

“But where are you from?”

“From Vorona, Botoșani.”

“Well, go to Sihăstria because you have your abbot there.” Father Cleopas was abbot. He said,

“He is also from your area. Better there!”

And that’s how God ordained for them to go to Sihăstria. They took it easy on the path and arrived at Sihăstria; around by the bell tower. They got there and came across the steward. I think it was Father Calinic Lupu.

“Hey, what’s up with you boys?”

“We came to the monastery.”

“But where are you from?”

“From Botosani.”

“Well, you’re from where Father Abbot is from. Let me call Father Abbot.”

And Father Cleopas happened to show up there right then.

“What’s up, boys?”

“Well, Father Abbot, they came, they want to stay.”

“Whoa! How great are God and the Mother of God!” Father Cleopas said.

“Two left the monastery this morning and two were brought back by the Mother of God!”

Two had left for the army that morning, and the Mother of God had brought two others: Father Iulian and his neighbor. And this is how they began their lives at the Sihăstria monastery.

I won’t go into many details, just what I remember the Elder said. But the Elder said, there was at some point, after a year of [being at the] monastery, a little temptation. I tell you from what the Elder told me. At one point, there was a brother in the monastery who slowly began to talk to Father Iulian who was called brother John then:

“You know, I think we should go to the wilderness somewhere, to a life like…” so and so. “Or go back to a monastery in our area.” Little by little, and because brother John had no experience, he followed him [when he said],

“Come with me and you will see.” I mean, the temptation was that it managed to get him out of the monastery, to go I don’t know where. And suddenly he said to him:

“We will go to our homes first, to our parents and then we go on. We’ll see, we’ll find a place!” And then brother John – Father Julian – said:

“But how shall I go by my home, what do I say to my [family]?” Now he had long hair, after a year, you realize, after a year he had grown a beard like this.

He said, “You know what? So that your family doesn’t recognize you, rub coal on your face.” And the other father helped him since he was a little older. And he rubbed coal on his face:

“Say you’re mute! I mean, I will tell your parents you’re a mute brother who can’t speak. And with coal on your face they won’t recognize you.” Now with long hair, as he was. They arrived at his parents’ house, the other father spoke:

“Look, we are two strangers from…” I don’t know what monastery. It was towards evening now. “Will you welcome us here tonight? I’m with another brother who is mute, he can’t speak.” Father Iulian’s parents said:

“How could we not, come on!”

They gave them something to eat. They didn’t have a big house, they served them on the porch, nicely outside, put a pillow there, put some blankets for them to sleep. And they rested there at his parents’ house, but without them knowing that brother John was their child. They told them first thing in the morning that they were leaving and then Father Iulian wrote a note and put it under his pillow: “I am you son…” So and so. He left. Well, the parents, after they left, picked up the pillow to clean up, and they found the note;

“Oh! What? He was our boy and we didn’t know!”

And they [brother John and the other father] went back and forth, and Father John realized that that brother was not going to stay in a monastery. When he realized it, he said, “Wait, wait, it’s a temptation that he took me out.” He quickly took his bag and returned to Sihastria. Father Cleopas received him back there, the elder apologized then—he was justl a child. He remained there in Sihastria.

Then he was taken into the army after 2 years. They took him into the army, he went and served in the army, meanwhile Father Cleopas was moved to Slatina, when he was asked by the Patriarchate to take over the monastery with a series of monks. And I asked the elder:

“If you were at Sihastria, would you have left with Father Cleopas to Slatina?”

“Of course I would have! I was in the army. When I returned, I stayed in Sihastria. That’s where I came back.”

And so, there he became a monk, after that, as you know, deacon, priest, confessor and in 1977, so at around 50 years old as the Elder was, he came to the Holy Mountain. It was then, monks were needed, it was hard in the Holy Mountain, there weren’t monks, it was approved by the Patriarchate to send a few monks. This is how he came with, if I remember correctly, with Father Macarius, who is also from Sihastria, and with Father Nektarios. They went to the Lord before the Elder.

Yes, Father Macarius for many years was a sexton, a great ecclesiarch there at Prodromos. He took care of the church, the vestments, everything. He was there. Yes. Father Nektarios stayed for a while in Provata and then at the Prodromos Skete.

Well, when Father Iulian came to Athos, he first spent 4 years here at the Lacu Skete. He stayed at the cell of the Annunciation, where there was a deacon, Father Neophyte at that time. He spent 4 years there, in obedience, he was so calm. He told me that once:

“I went to pick figs. And I climbed into the fig tree and a branch broke. And I fell from the fig tree onto a rock.”

He fell headlong on the rock. Of course, for the moment he lost consciousness, he remained unconscious. He recovered after a while, there on the rock, put his hand to his head, and saw that there was blood. And then he had to climb about 200 m to his cell. Slowly, crawling, he managed to reach the cell of Father Neophyte. When the father saw him, he saw that his head was broken and bloody, he said: “Stay still.”

He quickly put him to bed, bandaged him, took the mule and went to the monastery at Gregoriou. There was a father doctor there, who knew what to do, but you see, it took almost 5 hours to get there. He went with the mule, took that father doctor and brought him here. And he took care of him, bandaged him, gave him some treatment, whatever he knew to do at the time. Because the Elder said:

“I entered Athos, from Athos I don’t go out anymore, I don’t want to go anywhere.” And then he took care of him and the Mother of God helped him and he got better. He spent 4 years here in the Skete, after which he went to Prodromos. And there he began to serve, to confess and little by little we can say that he took over. They all confessed to him. The rest started coming to him from around Athos, the Elder sometimes even said:

“I had my path to the top of Athon, directly from Prodromos. And with such a small hatchet, I went and opened a path.” Being stronger at that time he ascended to Athon, descended back, the Elder liked very much the wilderness, the silence.

And that’s why he always sought to go, to meet different fathers of the wilderness. He liked silence very much. That’s why later when he heard confessions everyday, he always set aside an hour a day to go out for a walk in the woods. He also needed movement after confession, he needed to calm down, to clear himself, to pray. Yes.

And so in 1993, I got to the Elder. And I started confessing to him when I came to Athos. How much patience the Elder had with me. Always! Because at confession you don’t go to boast, you go with what you did wrong in deed and in thought. With everything. And the Elder patiently listened to me, advised me and had a certain habit: besides having a lot of patience, love, humility, forbearance, he always sent you to the Holy Scripture. He had the Holy Scripture there on the table. And he said:

“Take it, see there! What does it say in Corinthians…” such and such. “Look, what do you see, what does it say there at…” so-and-so? And he had you open the Holy Scripture to read it out loud there. He said:

“See what he says? Take heed! See.”

To the exact problem you had, he gave you the answer from Holy Scripture. If he ever sent me through the Old Testament, to Isaiah, I don’t know where, I would search and I would find it harder to find the exact chapter, the verse. He said:

“Ehe… As I can see, you don’t really read. It’s kind of hard for you to find!”

I mean, somehow, you see, he very much emphasized reading the Holy Scripture. Let not a day pass without reading a bit of Holy Scripture. So, for the Elder, Holy Scripture was the basic book. Every day he read. It was marked in all colors, according to the meaning of the verse. Everything, everything, everything! The Elder was constantly going by quotations from Holy Scripture. He knew it inside out. Yes. He had a lot of patience. How many people have passed under his stole in these years! Always and always he was lenient, if any would say, “Father, I am somewhat unhappy and want to go to different spiritual father…” [the Elder said], “Go, go, go. Of Course. All my blessing.”

He didn’t stop anyone, there was no “I am your spiritual father, I bind you!” There was no such thing with him. And of course he would go to another spiritual father, and after about a month, two or more, he would come back. The Elder never said, “Well, you left. I won’t receive you back!” No. He said, “Yes! Of course, come!” Because of course, he couldn’t find a better one. But to some it seemed that, I know, they were looking for something else. But always, everyone went back to the Elder.

The Elder had his gift. He had temperance, he had love… He was a living saint. I always expressed myself like this: he was one of the old ones. That is, an Abba from the Paterikon. Such was the Elder in simplicity, in love, in patience.

I’m not going to go on now, I’ve just tried to sketch out a few words about the Elder, as an idea. Maybe along the way I’ll say other things, but now just a few. And our Elder – the years have passed slowly, slowly and he has approached this age, you realize! Until 2 years ago, he still confessed. After that, little by little, the elder couldn’t do it anymore. That is, Father Hariton who was taking care of him also tried to protect him and said:

“That’s it. He gets tired. The Elder can’t resist anymore. We will let him sit and rest, in his silence.”

And for the past 2 years, the Elder has been peaceful. We stopped by to see him. Got some advice… We tried somehow… as rarely as possible. We didn’t want to tire him anymore, knowing that for so many years, always, willingly, unwillingly, the Elder was available to us there. Every week, at 2 weeks or 3 weeks, I was always there at the Elder’s. Last time I went, I know I stayed for almost an hour. Father Hariton said:

“See that you don’t tire him too much.”

“No, father!” I had gone with another father. But the Elder said:

“Stay, stay. Stay a little longer!” He kept telling us and we talked. We sat and he told us about this and that, always so fondly, some jokes, he said some poems, because he always had such beautiful lyrics. So always with a lot of love. An Elder of the soul. Just like I said at the beginning: a father with a mother’s heart! And in the last 5 years or so, always, not every time, but often he repeated:

“Let’s straighten out our lives. Let us be better, let us pray more, because a great war is coming. Soon there will be a war.”

So in recent years, he repeated this over and over: “There’s not much time, and war is going to break out.” And look, a war has started now, recently. A few years back, the Elder kept telling us:

“A great war is coming! Let’s straighten out our lives. Too much evil has been done in this world. And war is near.” And you see, his words were not in vain. Indeed, what he was saying was coming closer. Yes.

Our dear Elder! Now we have a supplicant in heaven. The Elder went to rest, after a lifetime of toil, think about how many years he lived in Athos without leaving Athos. How many are there? I didn’t calculate now, but about 47 years, I think 47 years without ever leaving Athos. He came in and didn’t go out. Here, as they say, at the feet of the Mother of God!

With great love and patience he entrusted his life into the hands of the Mother of God. And that’s what I always felt. An Elder with a holy life and much, much love and gentleness. May the good Lord take care of him where he went and put him in a place of peace, tranquility, joy, that is, for all his toil here in Athos and first of all for all the patience he had with us. And may we share in his prayers too! Let him intercede for us from there. I’ll talk about the Elder again, because there are many [things to say], but now only a few things, because now he has gone to the Lord.

May the good God and the Mother of God help us, for the prayers of our Elder! Lord help us!

The Elder, who has been so patient with me, you can see him [in the picture].

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